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Guest Column
Why Me? So That!
By Dr. Steven Steinberg
Jim is a 45-year-old CEO in downtown Chicago recently diagnosed with skin
cancer. Of course, like many of us, his business is going through a rough
period. If that isn't enough, his 14-year-old son is getting psychiatric
help and Jim is wondering whether he should join his son. Jim keeps asking
himself, "Why me, why me, why me?"
At some point, each of us has asked the question: "Why me?" The real
question being asked is: "Why do I suffer with so many problems in my work
and life?"
Albert Einstein can help here. He said, "The significant problems we face
today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we
created them." In other words, the biggest problems facing people in
business and in their lives does not come from the problems themselves,
rather they are caused by the way one thinks about those problems.
There are two ways to think about problems that lead to two different
responses to the pain of those problems. The ordinary response is to ask
why me-and answer "Because___." We want to fill in the blank with blame.
Blame makes us feel better. It turns us into a victim. As a victim we feel
that problems are not our fault and we are not responsible. Our expectation
is that we are entitled; we have a right, to a life without suffering or
unanswered questions. This does not solve our problems. The only path to
inner peace and success is to shift the focus of our thinking from "What
caused my problem?" to "How can I solve my problem?" We must shift our focus
from feelings to values, from rights to responsibilities. We must change
the focus of our thinking about the question why me from "Why do I suffer?"
to "Why do I exist?"
If the ordinary answer to why me-is "Because___" the extraordinary answer
is: "So That___!" You fill in the blank with something purposeful, something
of meaning, and/or something of value. Our purpose in life is to become
something special, to become extraordinary. We exist for some purpose. We
are here on earth to do something special.
Here is the key point: in business as in life one can focus on problems or
purpose. Both exist together in paradox. Focusing on problems causes pain
and suffering. However, when the focus is on purpose, then the power of
purpose overrides the pain of problems! The power of purpose, your "So
That___!", overrides the pain of problems.
Pain and problems exist so that we can solve those problems and deal with
that suffering. Our purpose is to solve each other's problems leading to
extraordinary levels of success, joy and inner peace. Purpose is the
flipside of problems. Without problems there would be no purpose.
Business people must be very clear about their focus. Is the focus on
problems or purpose? Changing the focus from problems to purpose requires a
paradigm shift, changing the existing way of thinking.
Here are some tools for changing your focus to thinking and acting on
purpose:
· Whenever you have problems remember it is an opportunity to learn and
grow. Most of us think that in life we either Win or we Lose. If, instead,
we Learn from every situation then we never lose.
· Suffering and problems are messengers whose message is: please stay on
purpose. When you have pain, that pain is a signal for you to change. You
have gone off purpose. You must bring your thinking and/or your behavior
back on purpose. If you do not yet have a purpose, that pain is a signal to
find one.
· Discover your personal purpose. It should be something that serves others
that-
- gives you joy
- you find meaningful
- you do well
- connects and aligns with higher values and timeless truths
- others value (you solve a problem they have or create an opportunity for
them)
· Create purpose and vision statements for yourself and for your business.
· Our purpose in business is to create a unique systematic solution to a
particular problem that people face. Create that unique systematic
solution.
· Create a USP. USP stands for:
- Unique Selling Proposition (the answer to the question why should I use
your product or service?)
- Your Unique and Special Purpose (answer to the question why were you put
on earth?)
- Your Unique Solution to your customer's Problem.
- What is the problem that your company solves?
- What is your solution to that problem?
- What makes your company unique and different from other businesses?
- What is your extraordinary business story?
- Every extraordinary story has an extraordinary theme- an extraordinary
purpose.
· The extraordinary business or life is all about discovering a purpose that
is so meaningful that-the power of that purpose overrides the pain of
problems.
No matter what your circumstances are, or how painful and difficult they
are, you're completely free to choose your response to those conditions.
Choose a response that is extraordinary. Choose to live on purpose. In
business and in life our job is to transform this world from what it is, a
world filled with suffering pain and problems, into a world that ought to
be, an extraordinary world filled with success, joy and inner peace. Each
of us has an extraordinary purpose for which we were put here on Earth.
Each of us has a responsibility to discover that purpose. If we all focus
on our purpose there is no limit to the problems we can solve, to the
healing we can bring, or to the extraordinary harmony that we can create.
Why me? "So That___!"
Resource box:
Dr. Steven Steinberg is a dentist with Parkinson's disease who will teach
you that even when facing suffering, extraordinary living is always choice
we can make. He is the passionate originator of the concept of the
Scientific & Spiritual Path of Becoming Extraordinary, a method for
enhancing and maximizing your ability to engage in joyous and meaningful
work and living. He works with organizations and people who want to
transform their businesses and their lives from ordinary to extraordinary.
He is a member of the National Speakers Association. For more information
please visit his website, Speaking of Values, at: www.speakingofvalues.com
or call at 847-800-5918.
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